Today is my sons 18th birthday! I am confused how this happened seeing as I never gave him permission to grow up, but I guess, as in all things, roll with it. Right? He's an amazing young man. Smart as a whip, a real wunderkind when it comes to math, a repositiory of useless facts and trivia that can name all the countries in the world in under 10 minutes on some web page. More importantly, despite his badgering of his sisters, he has a good heart. He's going to be one of the good guys.
And marking a milestone such as this, as he prepares to go to university this fall, one can't help but think of milestones in their own life. Markers of significant times and events in our lives. Important maybe only to us but important none the less. I confess to feeling askew today. And when I do have these days I find myself looking back more than forward. Reading an article about the 50th anniversary fight between Muhammed Ali and George Chuvalo doesn't help matters. Thinking of the paths that these mens lives took. How they got to that night in Toronto and what happened since that night. And come to think about it, the ride into work this morning carried more of the same theme. A young man trying to trace back his routes through music to his great, great, great grandmother Kimsy that had fled slavery to Canada. I thought he couldn't sing worth a lick and sounded like he would be annoying to be sitting beside on a long car ride but he was certainly passionate about making a connection to his roots.
I don't have a real connection to my roots past my parents and my one grandfather, who died 25 years ago. I think growing up the way I did and my mentality as a kid, being another self absorbed teenager, I didn't have an appreciation for the past. I might have a little more now but not a lot. And sometimes that makes me a tad ashamed of myself for not knowing a lot of my history. But then I get over it. Regret is not good. But still, I wonder what it was like for my parents coming to this country. What they endured and how they worked hard to make a better life. Could I do it? Probably not to their extent but I did and continue to do just that. Ever the optimist/realist with a good dose of pessimism thrown in I know it will be better tomorrow. This cancer may kill me in a year but that won't be the deciding factor in what I choose to do. I'm still dreaming about living in Greece at some point in my life.....to that end, if Warren Buffet or Bill Gates want to adopt me....have your people call my people. I'm down.
Do you ever wonder about that road not taken? What if you had chosen one thing over another? I'm not talking about regret. See above. But the what if's? What would have happened if you had chosen differently at some point. At many points I guess. What would be the milestones then? Talk of destiny and a path not withstanding, I suspect that the end result would be similar to what we have now. Sure there will be wild variances but I can't imagine not being me. And since I am me I suspect that the core of my life would be similar in any timeline. Or would it? Who the fuck knows.
Well, as much as I want to keep on rambling I should try and get some work done.
Ciao
D
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