Apres U2

Spent. Utterly spent I am. My feet hurt from stomping them to the beat of the music for two hours plus. My throat feels like I gargled sandpaper. I stink from three layers of sweat accumulated during the night. And it was all completely worth it...the show was incredible. Those Irish lads can play. This band gives it its all and probably expects nothing less from its fans. And I know I did my part in delivering. A few short rows from the very top of the nosebleed section and almost everyone around us was as completely invested as we were. We danced and bopped around, sang our heartsout.  That kind of mass adulation must be both a bit scary and addictive.

So cross one off the bucket list for me. I must tell you that I was worried that I had built up my own expectations too much, that I was destined to be disappointed, to be let down. I was not. We were not. Outside factors were conspiring against us from before the show began. A broken down car, late arrivals, missing the opening act and oppressive mugginess...the concert gods were testing me. But fortunes turned as we returned from being gouged for water....the roof was opening. To cheers no less. A collective sigh as well as the heaviness in the air escaped through those open panels. The gods were back on side.

From the opening drum beats of Sunday Bloody Sunday to the final raw ringing chords of I Will Follow the band did what they do best...played fucking rock and roll! We sang, we cheered, we clapped and we sang some more. It was incredible to hear 50,000 plus people sing in unison to I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For or belting out the Spanish accoutrements to Vertigo HOLA! COMO ESTA!

But this isn't a concert review anymore. Allow me to make an observation....and since this is my blog I'm going to make it whether you agree or not. As much as the world is messed up, and Bono et al went to pains to point it out throughout the show, there are moments when things are simply perfect. We all have them if we care to see them. Or get out of our own way long enough to allow for them. To let us live in the moment. There I was, night sky descending, a thousand cell phone flash lights shimmering around the stadium and Bono letting us help him sing With Or Without You and in a brief pause I took the time to look around...on my perfect time

The faces around me...young and old framed by the CN Tower looming over us and what I saw was joy. Smiling, swaying and loving. Willie Nelson wafting through the air but I can't imagine why anyone would have needed it. This was a musical high...a life high. It brought a smile to my face. I kept looking around, it became part of my experience...people watching writ large.

Imagine all the things going through peoples lives that they set aside to fall into the music. 50,000 stories being played out all around us...love lost, love found, pain, shame, fear and triumph. Shunted aside to forget, even for a moment, to let the music carry you away.

Maybe we can all do better with taking the time to look around. Stop and smell the roses more. Our lives fill up with stuff so easily and I don't think that is what living is about...not all the time at least. This night it was U2 and 50,000 new friends but it can be as simple as a walk in the woods, a drink on a patio with good friends, a long subway ride to think...anything can be a moment to remember. Remember those important things...like cowbells and harmonicas.

Ciao
D

Unforgettable Fire

It's nearing my normal time for turning in on a Monday night but I'm not quite ready for my nightly fight with my cat for space on my bed. Instead I'm spinning some vinyl with my replacement needle for my stereo phonograph (c 1985) and I'm falling in love all over again. The music of my youth played on ancient spinning discs, crackles and pops coming through along with all the warmth that only the analogue age can provide. The memories that flood back....traipsing downtown to Sunrise Records or Sam the Record Man, plopping down $15 for a couple of new releases or some classic finds and than hightailing it back to the confines of suburban life.

My friend Humberto and I would make the long trek back via subway and bus, sitting across from each other devouring liner notes and trying to make sense of the lyrics before us. It mattered not that we may have a cassette version of the album we held in our hands...unwritten code meant that we had to have the vinyl version as well. Sort of like the Godfather Rule...if you happen to be flipping the channels and the Godfather is on, you must watch it. Doesn't matter if you just did a Godfather binge two days ago...."Leave the Gun"

Currently I have on deck The Unforgettable Fire by U2, my getting ready musically for the concert this Friday. I'm pretty stoked for this show as I have been trying to see them for over 30 years, and now on their 30th Anniversary tour of the Joshua Tree....I've got seats. Nosebleed territory but I don't care. The music, as always, makes me reflective, transporting me back to 1985. The summer of the Europe trip with my family...dragged around Yugoslavia and a bit of France for five weeks, just what every young teen wants when they are more interested in the goings on back home. Dummy. I found a bootleg of The Unforgettable Fire in some sort of flea market and I fell completely in love with it. I played it constantly on my knock off Sony Walkman, as if stuck on a permanent repeat loop I found refuge in that music....escapism in my early days. Slap the headphones on and I don't even have to try not listening to the outside world. This album changed things for me, opened a door or two not only musically but on a more spiritual level.

It lifted me up....it saved me from mediocrity. It was rock and roll but not like any other rock and roll I had been listening to. It's been said that U2 and Springsteen saved the guitar and one can see how that can be said of Springsteen. He plays straight ahead rock and roll and that's all great. But U2 didn't fit that mould...you couldn't pigeon hole them. They played with passion and had something to say, and at the end of the day that is what caught me up. Travelling through ancient towns, dusty roads and sleeping on chicken wire bedding, the music that came through my tinny headphones was all about passion.

Bono's soaring vocals, the driving rhythm or Edge's melodic singing guitar work, it all came together to form some pure magic that to this day sounds as fresh and new to me as it did all those years ago. That tape began the process of prying me away from my narrow listening habits. Rush was and still is my band but they share that stage with U2. Two amazing bands that are very different from each other, soaring melodies and visceral messages versus complete virtuosity and driving progression. A year previous I wouldn't have thought it possible but there I was following every note and letting the music wash over me like waves upon the beach.

The memories of that summer are so tightly related to that album...from those opening notes on A Sort of Homecoming to the final lament of M.L.K, I still think of lying in bed falling asleep to those last chords of the album. Or taking that ancient train ride towards the coast from the northern region, Pride ringing through with Edge's unique sound, smiling inwardly that I knew something the other passengers didn't, my little secret....that U2 was fucking awesome.

I am very much looking forward to the show. An old family friend as my companion this will be a bucket list kind of entry after all these years. I suspect I will sing my heart out and let the music do music does best, lifting us out of the everyday and showing us what is out there. For the briefest moment opening a window onto the soul of life itself.

Ciao
D

Tata

Not long ago I wrote about moms and Mother's Day...in my world, as you may recall, Mother's Day is huge. Brunch buffets out the wazoo, flowers everywhere and people tripping over themselves to proclaim their mom to be the boss mom. Fast forward to today and are we busy prepping for a huge Father's Day? Nope. In the history of the restaurant business nothing has ever really worked when it comes to Father's Day celebrations. We try and try but nothing ever really sticks.

I was foolishly asked to sit in on a sales meeting at a former job for my perspective on revenue generating ideas. I was asked, as a father, what would I consider doing for a themed weekend get-away? I looked around the table, considered my audience for the briefest fraction of a second and responded with the following....Do you know what we want for Father's Day? To be left the fuck alone. I didn't get invited to many more sales meetings after that...most likely because I once suggested turning part of the resort into a brothel for revenue generation, but I digress.

Don't get me wrong my friends, the very best thing I am, the thing I am most proud of is being a father to my kids. I adore them. Over the years Father's Day for me has changed. When they were younger it was breakfast in bed or handmade cards, as they got older and the divorce took hold we had a ritual of going to Peggy's Cove for a few hours clambering over rocks and grabbing a bite somewhere. Doing stuff instead of having stuff sort of thing. Alas, tomorrow we will not be clambering....bum knee and limited time, but we will go for breakfast and that will be more than enough for me.

You see, personally, I'm not one for a big production to be made for me. I don't care to be the centre of attention, I feel somewhat awkward. Actually I was recently asked if I was going to have a big party for my 50th next year...nope. Not by my planning at least. I'd certainly love to see people and be convivial while enjoying a libation or two but I couldn't plan my own party anymore than I could lick my elbow. I suspect I'm not alone with the male species in that way. Speaking personally and somewhat anecdotally, we men do like our alone time. Sure, shower me with love and I'm happy as a clam, but I'm not really in the mood to spend $50 for a buffet....I'd be much more interested in say, a round of golf and a barbecue. A good game of whack fuck maybe topped only by a solo motorcycle ride through the country, at least I think it would, not having a bike yet. We do like our time when we can get it.

Dad's are a special breed don't you think? Stupid jokes, stern messaging, out of touch likes, music and hobbies all rolled into an integral part of the world. Where would I be without my dad? By sheer force of will and by example he has helped shape my life into what it is now. An ever evolving ethos that is about respect and doing the right thing. I'm reminded of the Al Pacino speech in Scent of a Woman, where he talks of coming to the crossroads many times in his life. Knowing without a doubt the right choice but never making it because it was "too damn hard". My dad instilled in me respect for respect and working hard. Be the best you that you can be, in my dad's words...be a man and do the right thing. Choose the right road.

"An honest man's pillow is his peace of mind"

I remember as a young guy my dad getting me to help him with his little projects. Be it fixing the door on the shed, changing the tires over for winter or patching holes in drywall. In hindsight, he was teaching me things I would probably need to know in life...things that would save me money and instil a sense of accomplishment. Being a little fuck head know it all meant that I was more interested in the hockey game or chasing girls....or really anything but standing there watching my dad choose screwdrivers. Thankfully I came to find out that this was normal behaviour for boys growing to be men. I was not alone in this type of behaviour. The reflective me wishes that maybe I had paid attention a little more, been a little more engaged with him. Not because I would be a better handyman but because I would know him better. Sometime in the future he won't be around anymore and I can't imagine that, I can't imagine a life that he is not in. There would be a massive hole that I simply can't comprehend. For all his faults he is still one of the best persons I have known in my life. He has gone through a lot in his life, worked harder than anyone I have ever known and come through on the other end as Dide (Croatian term for grandfather). For a small glimpse in to what I'm talking about read this previous post The Game The guy that carried candy in his pockets when my kids were young to sneak them a treat. The guy that goes for long walks and meets every neighbour in the surrounding enclave of suburban sameness. Handyman extraordinaire. Maker of the bean stew I hated as a kid but now wish I could eat more of. My dad. Tata

My dad enjoys his alone time. Be it his walks or working in his workshop, I think this is when he collects his thoughts. Ruminates over whatever he needs to and than acts accordingly. Preferring one on one interactions over large scale celebrations...not being the centre of attention. I know how he feels. And that's what I meant by leave us alone. Give us our space to think, give us time to be what we need, to be the men we want and need to be. My dad knows this and I know it now as well....good job on, you know, helping to raise the kid thing.

Happy Father's Day Tata...see you in a few days

Mucho Love
D

Waltzing with Bears

The humidity has subsided from the past few days and it's a comfortable temperature to enjoy a drink on the patio or simply enjoy the sights and sounds of the city...it makes you feel good to be alive. Unlike the humid weather that unleashes homicidal thoughts...errrr I mean is unpleasant to me. And that is as much as you will ever read or hear about the weather from me...back to the bears.

Search YouTube or Spotify for that song, Waltzing with Bears, it's kind of cute in a silly way. I once proposed the idea of dressing up in a bear costume and dancing with my daughter for a music recital type of thing she was involved with when younger, I kind of wish we had done it, it would have been a great story and wonderful memory. But today I have a different take on Waltzing with Bears...bears being a stand in for hard choices.

Bernie Sanders has been touting a $15 an hour minimum wage for a while now. Ontario just announced it was moving towards that regulation over the next few years. Which means bit by bit other jurisdictions in this country will be moving to something similar. I'm kind of torn by this though. I don't know if this solves any problems in the long run when compared to unintended consequences that might and probably will happen.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping to lift people out of poverty and evening out the incredible disparity that exists between the haves and have nots...hell, I'm probably a closet socialist, but being a former business owner and currently in management of a mid size business that this minimum wage hike would have significant effect on, I can't help but look at both sides of the issue. It is never as easy as simply giving a raise to someone. There is a domino effect that takes place and in the end, everyone ends up paying.

Of course, I am not an economist by any stretch and most likely I am talking out of my ass often but try this on for size. Joe is a dishwasher earning $11 an hour. He gets a $4 an hour raise to meet the new regulations imposed by the government. So now Joe is making the same amount of money as Mark who is a second cook. Logic would dictate that Mark should get a raise of $4 an hour since Mark, one would assume, has worked hard to be in the position he is in. Through training and experience he has worked his way up to a second cook position. Well, now Mark is making more than his supervisor...Jack the Sous Chef. You think Jack is happy about that? Nope...another $4 for Jack. And so on until you get to me...I'd like to be earning another $4 an hour please. By the time the dust settles every person in the joint has gotten a $4 an hour raise. You don't need to be an economist to ascertain that now, suddenly, this business is not going to be making any money....the average rate of profitably in the restaurant business is 4% by the way. So one of two things will happen...they close up or they hike their prices to compensate for this shift in wages to maintain some sort of, what do you call it now? Reason for being in business.

Do you know where this is going? Yeah, your Big Mac is now going to cost you $7.89 as opposed to $4.89 or whatever it is now. The burger at my place is now going to be $20. This will, of course affect a broad spectrum of goods and services. Grocery stores will need to charge more...which means that your grocery bill go up. Not to mention the fact that the producer of those sausage rolls and chicken bites is going to have to raise his pricing because his cost just went up 27%. Which, in the end, leaves you with less money to buy that fancy looking drone for high altitude selfies. I believe this is inflation...again, I'm not an economist. And I'm sure there are benefits that I don't realize or can comprehend, maybe this is a simple market correction at the behest of the government. How altruistic of them. In the end we will be looking at a cost of living increase that brings us closer to places like Norway and Sweden. I like the way those countries approach both life and social issues....but are we ready for it?

I can't help but think there might be an easier way of helping to lift people out of poverty...trying to end that vicious cycle of despair and hopelessness. The idea of a guaranteed or basic income from the federal government is not a new idea but it has been getting some traction lately and I think maybe that's something that should be looked at hard. There are oodles of programs out there that various governments have come up with to help those in need of help. It is a quagmire of programs that have levels of bureaucracy built into them that feed frustration and the machine. Those that would seek assistance are vilified by a sector of the population and barely tolerated by those that have been tasked with helping them, leaving those most in need of assistance to feel like beggars and worthless rubes. How about we eliminate the majority of those programs and forms and simply give everyone $12,000 or $15,000 a year. No strings. Got a job? Great, here's an extra chunk of change, enjoy. I believe the thinking is that by eliminating a plethora of subsidies and it's corresponding bureaucracy along with actually taxing corporations and getting a little more from the wealthy the basic income might be a neutral kind of plan. At the very least, the greatest beneficiary is the person that needs it the most.

Again, I'm not Jim Carney but this lefty wet dream makes sense to me. The other thing it does is take the burden off of business and the middle class. While I have a special rung in hell for corporations that use loopholes and tax laws to negate, as much as possible, their exposure and generate huge returns for their shareholders, it's not their fault if the government is too stupid to make them pay their fair share of taxes. It's the medium and small sized business that will get squeezed the most by increasing wages. The governments desire to be seen to be doing something about wage disparity and poverty is being dumped onto business. And don't try and vilify all business in one swipe....comparing the neighbourhood pub to Manulife Insurance is akin to comparing the Yugo to an Aston Martin Vanquish. Don't be absurd.

See...closet socialist. Surprised? Why you ask? From here to there and beyond this is what I have come to think about the world at large. A hybrid of capitalism, socialism and ingenuity coupled with a deep held belief that yes, we are our brothers keepers. My schooling, my family, my friends and my experiences have combined to leave you with this slightly moronic naive glob of  a man that really thinks that the best of us is reflected in how we treat those that need a helping hand. There is plenty of money for the world to go round and cell phones and tablets will continue to be sold along with Twinkies and fucking figdet spinners, but I do believe we can do better in making choices that bring us closer together as opposed to pushing us apart....bridging that great divide.

Ciao
Papa Bear

Sunday Thoughts...sans computer

Fish Don't Fry in the Kitchen

...Beans don't burn on the grill.

Yeah, I really have no idea what those song lyrics mean in relationship to moving on up to that deluxe apartment in the sky but this was what was running through my head yesterday while helping my daughter and her boyfriend move out together. That and for some reason the theme to Rawhide as sung by the Blues Brothers. I told you my brain works funny.....just......ok.

Yes, a significant milestone has been reached. My oldest has moved out on her own and you know what? I'm actually fine with it. In fact, I think it's a good move for her and them. A chance to spread their wings a bit and get a taste of that thing we all call life. So, of course, some reflection is in order.

Change is in the air. Daughter number one is out on her own and that changes our relationship...we won't be seeing each other as much as we have up until two days ago and that kind of sucks. It's entirely possible that she may go to Ontario for medical school and that sucks even more....nothing against you Ontario but I like my kids near me. Even my youngest daughter is talking about moving to Toronto when she finishes school to be a dental hygienist. You never know, the boy might make his way out of town and then what pour moi?

Is it possible that I might find myself packing up and heading west, back to the big city at some point in the future? I don't know to be honest. Gut reaction is to shrug my shoulders in confusion. I'd like to be near my kids and perhaps eventual grandkids....uh oh. A grandfather? Me? What the fuck? But at the same time, I've been busy cultivating a life here and I kind of enjoy it to be honest. And what of my dream to live in Europe for part of the year? Moving on up indeed.

As I watched my daughter make those bold steps out into the world at large I could see both fear and excitement in her eyes. The thought of her not coming "home" at the end of the day is strange and yet not really. Bit by bit I think we all work our way towards these days with not only our kids but ourselves....the one constant, the thing we can all agree on, other than death and taxes is that there will be change.Personally, I'm completely at ease with change. It doesn't phase me in the least. For whatever reason, I can change a job, adjust to new situations and move across country without too much loss of sleep. That change, whatever it might be, is kind of exciting....what is coming around that bend for me this time?

So while I contemplate the next big thing, which is most likely my youngest graduating high school in a year, which will precipitate other changes, I will wish my oldest all the best. Don't piss off your neighbours, make sure you talk to your boyfriend and enjoy this new chapter in your life....if you're nice maybe I'll bring over some curry.

P.S. Love your new stove, circa 1978

Bon chance
Papa