If you were to look through the multitude of posts I have written here you may come away with the notion that I am a cockeyed optimist and a not so secret hopeless romantic at heart. Well, you'd be right. My rantings about a multitude of things aside, the over arching message in the tapestry of my life, especially over the past 5 years or so, has been about being the way I am. Always.
Putting words here has been cathartic and enlightening, helping me to process the things I needed to process. In the same way putting myself out there in the dating world since my separation and divorce has been at times illuminating, invigorating, frustrating and to say the least interesting. I've learned things from every single relationship I have had and I have also learned that there is no one right way to do this, it simply is a case of putting yourself out there and waiting for the right person to walk in to your life.
And then it happened, seemingly out of nowhere I met her and the world became a different place. None of the "rules" I had come to know and expect were being followed. The heart decided and the mind followed closely behind, as "they" say, "when you know, you know". I knew, with very little doubt, that it would happen for me at some point. I always kept an optimistic outlook when it came to matters of the heart so when we met and we knew, it wasn't at all scary or shocking. What was shocking was the way it took hold. Almost instantaneously, as if we saw in each other exactly what we wanted and even more importantly we saw the other person whole.
So this is what it's supposed to feel like? Totally raw and exposed and yet without fear. The words to describe this sometimes do not do it justice but being utterly and completely in love sure goes a long way. Truly I am feeling blessed that she has come into my life, allowing me to be myself, both free and completely open. Everything I have said over the past few years here about living life out loud and without fear or regret is being played out in real time, for both of us. There is nothing we can't deal with as we journey together to whatever our future is. We do things for each other not to score points on some virtual tally sheet but because we want to. It brings us pleasure to do for the other. To know these things and to understand them is the essence of what I feel true love is.
Tammy my love, I get lost in your eyes and in your smile so much that I feel I might miss something if I look away. Your open and wide heart is full of a love that I didn't know existed and you have made me a better person simply by walking into my life that brisk March day. You have me completely and fully. Always.
Je t'aime Bella
Daniel
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