A wonderful treat this morning, an early present just for me as I drove into work on Christmas Eve, a beautiful sunrise that this picture simply does not do justice to. The frigid morning gave way to hues of pink mirrored on the basin and stretched out across the horizon; truly breathtaking, hence stopping the car to get a shot or two before carrying on with my short commute.
When you can start a day with that kind of beauty you know it's meant to be a good one. So we find ourselves upon another Christmas Merry, my 50th if my math is right; I have a lot to be thankful for at this time of year and I have things that bring sadness too, just to keep life on an even keel I guess. I imagine we all have those conflicting emotions going on and not just at Christmas time, just that with the holidays and the plethora of holiday tunes we seem to be more aware of all emotions, positive and not, a little more. I know I am.
In a couple of days I will mark the three year anniversary of my eye cancer diagnosis. A late Christmas gift you could say. I remember thinking how is eye cancer even a thing and shortly after that thinking shit, now I have to tell my mom about it. Funny what a mind can worry about. But I am alive and kicking quite well thank you. Sadly though, my best friend is gone; losing his battle to the scourge of cancer, passing back in October.
And as if to prove the theory of Even Steven, the night before he passed, leaving the hospital after our visit with him, my wonderful and beautiful Tammy said yes when I asked for her hand in marriage along the shores of Blue Rocks in the fading twilight. It was not how I envisioned asking her but it was perfectly right for me at the moment. I got to spend sometime with Scott that I will treasure to the end of my own days, and as we left him I showed him the ring that I was going to propose with; he smiled with smiling eyes and I knew it was right.
These opposing emotions are what makes life what it is I think. The highs tempered by the lows and the lows softened by the highs and the one constant is our loved ones that we live our lives with.
"We win together, we lose together. We celebrate and we mourn together.
And defeats are softened and victories sweeter because we did them together"
The West Wing
A year ago I couldn't imagine being where I am now, an almost dream like state where I have found my one and only. A gift for me and I couldn't be more blessed or happy, yet one that I can no longer share with my brother. Thankfully I had Tammy with me on this journey, I couldn't imagine what it would have been like without her there, the grace under that kind of pressure made the journey about the experience and not about the outcome. For that I am truly grateful. In those moments of despair I found nothing but love and compassion.
The tapestry of my life has been weaved ever more this year, colours and texture added to fill a full life even more. Memories that will live forever and promises of new ones to come.
For my friends, my family (old and new) and for all - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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