Bonfire of the Vanities

My how times have changed. What once was is no longer and what mattered before matters not at all. What the hell is he talking about now you may be asking yourself. Allow me to explain if I may.

When I was a young man playing young man games I chased the same dreams a lot of people chased at that time in my life. I'm not talking about things that would have brought me to temptation and mortal sin such as were destroyed in actual bonfires in the 15th century and where the term "Bonfire of the Vanities" comes from. Although, maybe they are in the same category come to think of it.

I coveted a sky blue 1968 Camaro RS that I walked by everyday on my way to school. It was a cool looking car that conjured images and sounds that resonated with me when I was all of 14. I recall dreaming of the bachelor life in a bachelor pad on the fringes of the downtown core when I was 18. I was looking for freedom and opportunity; the real American dream when you add in the pursuit of the almighty dollar. Of course at 18 that is what I was missing, the dollars to afford my lifestyle dreams, not to mention a direction to go in with my future endeavours.

I was never what I considered a fashion maven so clothing and anything remotely attached to style were not in my wheel house of desire. Except for once when I really wanted construction boots one year, since all my buddies had them and they were the best for "soccer baseball"; instead I ended up with sensible Cougar winter boots that sort of looked like the colour of construction boots. Sigh.

I still have the stereo system that I convinced my folks to get for my 18th birthday. On occasion laying down some vinyl for a spin. But that pretty much checks off my vanity list. Because, like most "normal" people I grew up and matured, ever so slightly. Other things became important and they were not tied to a thing.

Taking pride not in my car or the clothes I wore, I instead took pride in the things that still matter most to me now. My family being at the top of the list of course. The very best part of me is wrapped up in them. The way I am as a person as well. Far from perfect but not a bad guy at the end of the day. Living a life out loud and being proud of it is not such a bad place to be.

I suppose in the end the passage of time coupled with life experiences has taught me the importance of being at peace with where my life is. Accepting that I won't be flying jets or riding motorcycles, summering in the South of France and being consulted by statesmen on state affairs doesn't detract one bit from the happiness I feel today and for what will come tomorrow.

As some of you may have noticed I have been writing less here in this blog o' mine. I began to wonder about this and the best I can say about it is that I feel more at peace and centered in my life then I can ever recall. My pontifications have been proclaimed, I have railed against many things that needed railing against and I have, quite publicly, said a lot of shit over the past three years that I needed to say. I like to believe that my desire to say something is being channelled into other places that perhaps require more then a few minutes to read; after all, I do have a typewriter now so one never knows where one might be reading my words.

Not that I will forgo this place entirely, it has brought me much happiness over the past three years. A place of exploration, a place of comfort and of reason. Like my stereo I will always have this special place to call on when needed.

Ciao
D