Hook, line and sinker

How about a funny story highlighting my almost legendary naiveté? I do so enjoy making myself look stupid and god knows we could all use some more of that. Right?

Being both naive and kind of dumb I often don't have the foggiest clue as to whether someone of the fairer sex is interested in me. On a few occasions I have had other people inform me that I was being hit on. I'm not sure that I believed them but they were pretty certain in their conviction. So this little story should fall under the category of "of course it happened to you".

My first year in college there were probably about 40 students to start the year. Which meant for every task during dining room service there were five or six people to help carry the load...totally realistic in the business. This didn't last long of course, we lost at least ten people after the first few weeks and this was further whittled down to somewhere around 20 people before the first semester was over. My graduating class had maybe 12 people and three of us actually graduated...the rest still needed some credits. But I digress, By the time the first semester was coming to an end there was a core group of people that got pretty close as time marched on. In this group there were only three women, maybe two as I can only recall two of their names. Since we were all pretty comfortable with each other and the industry demands conformity everyone was treated as "one of the guys". Except when it came to, ahem, you know....dating and stuff. Other rules applied to this situation.

One girl, Cassandra, became entangled with Danilo for most of the time in school. Melissa was the other woman in the class. Since I was a tad shy I stuck to my work and learning what I could learn. That is until the night of a house party that first December if I recall. I really don't remember any details, who's house it was? Where it was? How I got there and why I was even there? But I do remember the drive home. Because that's where this story really starts.

Loaded into the back seat of someones car was myself behind the driver, someone else in the middle and Melissa on the other side. Now, the first thing to know is that I am broad shouldered, back then because I was in shape and lifted weights, and now because I am pear shaped. So I always find it more comfortable to drape my arm over a chair or behind someones back to make more room for everyone. The second thing to know is that when I do a thing I do it to make people laugh...mostly myself. So I, forgetting the rules of elementary school dating, thought it was kind of funny to poke Melissa in the ear with my finger. And even funnier to give her a wet willy with said finger. I told you I was dropped as a child. Well...whoever was in the middle of us was just snickering and Melissa was saying something to the effect of "do you really want to do this?" I'm sure I didn't know what she was talking about so I continued doing what I was doing. Nothing happened and I managed to get home in one piece. Didn't think anything of it afterwards.

A few weeks into the new year Cassandra tells me that she is having a party and I was invited. Cool. "Who's going?" Oh you know, the usual. "Steve and Caesar going?" "Uhm, yeah they're going. So are you coming?" Sure...why the hell not. Well, before the time of Google Maps I had to navigate my way to wherever Cassandra lived...I don't recall why but I drove by myself. You would think Steve or Caesar would have been with me but there you go. I found her place and after a few minutes I was ensconced on a couch in an orange basement with some shag carpet...how retro eh? At this point there was only Cassandra, Danilo, myself and, you guessed it, Melissa. "So, where is everyone else?" I asked. They should be here soon came Cassandra's reply. So we had a drink, talked about school and basically sat there holding the couches down onto the floor.

Shortly there after Cassandra got up on the pretence of taking care of the food upstairs, as she was going up the stairs she called for Danilo to help out. As he made his way up the stairs it suddenly became very clear to me (better late than never right) that this was a set up. I was alone with Melissa, the only two other people in the house were probably groping each other upstairs and I was pretty sure Caesar wasn't coming to the party. I turned to Melissa mouth wide open and she just smiled and said "you really made this easy." Sure...easy when people lie to you and conspire together, Ok fine...I'm dumb.

I won't bore you with the mushy sappy syrupy stuff....long story short, we were dating after that. I confess it was flattering to be chased like that. I heard once that to be wanted is the most alluring thing for a man...it might be true.

Would you believe that short lived relationship was what I would consider my first real girlfriend/boyfriend relationship? True story. While I had been chasing girls since grade two this slapstick comedy approach in landing with Melissa marked the first time I was actually dating someone. The very next person I dated I ended up marrying. Yeah. Moral of the story people....we don't know shit when we're that young. I'm not dissing high school sweetheart love or anything like that but we really don't know a damn thing about anything at that young age.

At the end of it all though...no regrets. Not one. Thinking about the road not travelled is not the same thing as regretting not travelling that road...there's much to be said for reflection and understanding how we got to where we are, but feeling repentant or disappointed over it? Sorry...merci mais non.

Ciao
D