I came across a blog post by Mark Manson today that piqued my curiosity. Titled "The Disease of More" it was a good quick read talking about how people are always looking for more in their life, thinking that happiness was just around the corner. If they got that next promotion, jumped a pay level or found a better looking mate they would finally be able to answer that ageless question, on a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?, with a resounding 10.
Rightly, I think, he points out that you probably won't change your tune regardless of what next level you reach. The thinking is, and it is backed up by some research, that most people fall into a range of six or seven on that scale. There are highs and lows to be sure, but after the euphoria wears off, you slip back to number seven. I can see that, it makes sense since most of us know, or should know, that money really isn't going to buy happiness. Neither will the faster car...but an Aston Martin Vanquish would be a sweet ride I think. I am as guilty as anyone thinking that winning the lottery will make everything easier and thus more enjoyable, I feel that way not because I will be happier with a bigger TV or faster car, but because since I am already happy I can now do other things that I know will continue to make me happy. Throw off the yoke of having to work and do things that I want to...be it travelling, learning or helping people out in some way.
He goes on to talk about how as we age we really aren't looking for advancement and constant growth as much as trading off one thing for another. For example, if I decided that I wanted to be a trapeze artist instead of a chef, I'm not advancing myself as much as I am trading one career for another. I'm not sure I totally agree with that though, I think maybe Mr Manson is a tad young...lacking the perspective that can only come with age. No disrespect, as I do like his writing and his approach, but at 32 I have clothes that are older than he, so it stands to reason he may think other things in the years to come.
I like to think that my choices now are about growth, but not necessarily about advancement in the traditional sense. I've grown in the past few years in ways I didn't think were in me. My go fuck yourself attitude, while still very much a part of me, has led me to a better understanding and acceptance of differing points of view. I have opened up to new possibilities and become even more pluralistic. Call it wisdom, call it what you will, but as the clock ticks towards the big 50 next year I feel like I have a better grasp on life in general...I feel a foot smarter.
I think it's good to want that kind of more. Personal growth I don't think can be considered the disease of more, it's not the same as wanting a bigger house or faster wife, I mean car. Certainly he is right in saying that we need to learn to appreciate the here and now...allowing ourselves to actually enjoy what we have as opposed to chasing the next thing, but don't dismiss the desire to move forward. Whatever it is that you are looking for, if you still haven't found what you are looking for, shouldn't be viewed as an impediment to betterment. As long as you're not a douche bag I say go right ahead. The right "more" is the key here.
Ciao
D
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