Purgatory

Neither here nor there. A place holder for your sinful soul, or so the Catholic church would have you believe. Horse hockey I say. But that's for another day. Today it's about our own purgatory, the ones we have placed ourselves into or have been thrown into by the trials of these lives we live.

Someone who is becoming a close and dear friend broached this subject recently, a painful place to be in where it would be easy to spew forth well worn platitudes because really, in the end, it's easy to say those things compared to not being able to say anything. Casting about for a nugget of light to grasp onto in the hopes of being able to offer some sort of comfort, some sort of relief.

I imagine being able to have someone simply to talk to, to be listened to without agenda is something that a lot of us look for. I tend to think the answers we seek or the advice we need are within ourselves and sometimes we simply need a way for them to come out. I know this has been the case in my own life and I don't think I am any more unique then the next person so I like to think that is possible for all of us. The answers are already out there, we just need to be able to hear them.

Hearing those answers can take time, false starts and losing hope coupled with life getting in the way and you can easily see how your world can unravel. Allowing ourselves to be helped, to feel love and regain that elusive hope is simply a step in the journey, there are no easy answers and what works for you may not work for me, but taking the step in the first place is the only way to move forward. It's not easy, hell it's about as hard as you can imagine...and that's coming from a guy that hasn't suffered that tragedy of life yet. I know it's around the corner and while I dread it when I care to think about it I try not to let it hold dominion over me. Instead taking solace in today.

Which leads me to the idea of which is worse or sadder really...

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Tennyson had a way with words and I tend to think he is right, but believing this to be true the inexorable truth is that the person that has lost is sadder still.

Some are born to move the world —

To live their fantasies

But most of us just dream about

The things we’d like to be

Sadder still to watch it die

Than never to have known it

For you — the blind who once could see —

The bell tolls for thee…

What does it all mean? Hell if I know, I know only what works for me today. I do, however, know this, talking is better than not, getting up is better than not. As hopeless as it may seem some days, the well of strength that we can find within ourselves is the answer. Other peoples thoughts and words can help but only through what's in you can you move forward. That is all that should matter. 

"Night has always pushed up day

You must know life to see decay

But I won't rot, I won't rot

Not this mind and not this heart,

I won't rot."

Ciao

D