A long time ago, while providing catering service for a semi private club back in The Big Smoke I had the opportunity to become acquainted with a family from the UK. Husband and wife and teenage daughter. They were nice enough people, the daughter especially was one of those young people that you hope your eventual kids will aspire to be like....intelligent, self aware and simply a good person. You knew she would do well in life.
The mother and father were enigmas in some ways to me. I always had the feeling that the father, Tony if I recall, looked down at me. I know I was barely older than his daughter and still had that rebel thing going on but is that really reason to think that I warranted no thought what so ever? I think not. And then we ended up having a somewhat intelligent conversation about whatever was going on in the world that day, Clinton or Bush had done something and we chatted for a good half hour. I think that opened the door to the fact that maybe I wasn't as dumb as he thought I was. He even mentioned this to his daughter because a few days later she asked me what we had talked about...because he was taken by surprise. Who knew? Keep em guessing I say.
The mother was on a whole other playing level though. Have you ever met anyone that you simply felt that they had lived their entire life without learning a god damn thing about the way the world works? This was her. Happily ensconced in her make believe world of Cosmo and Chatelaine she was blissfully unaware of the world. I couldn't keep a conversation with her for more than a minute or two back then...can you imagine what would happen today?
And why are we talking about this? I don't know to be honest, I sat here poised with fingers on keys ready to start typing away and this is what came to my mind for some odd reason. So let's see if this somehow relates to what I thought I was going to write about.
I used to say, about a certain someone, that they were very binary in their thinking. Ones and zeros, rights and wrongs and so on. And I, in the end, couldn't understand that kind of approach to life, it didn't mesh with my way of living. As I have said before here, the world is grey, our lives are grey. While there are absolutes to be sure, be it moral or not, it is also true that our lives and the lives of all around us are too nuanced to live in the belief that all things can be summed up easily though a series of equations.
Maybe that's what this is? Binary thinking, equations and all that jazz. The wife above, to my limited knowledge of her, seemed to be happy with one plus one equals two. Forget algebra and calculus, keep it simple and pass the champers darling. I'm sure we all know people like that, and whether that is the facade they present or how they really are in the end we have to learn to get along with everyone. Right?
Well, yes and no my friends. Sure, a co-worker being from the shallow end of the gene pool is one thing; the twenty something cutting your hair and talking about the weather is one thing; but family, friends and lovers are an entirely different thing. What do you do there? If you care to or if you feel the need to, you change the equation. I'm divorced. I changed that equation. It needn't be that dramatic of course, you simply need to open your eyes to a new way of looking and being? Adding some algebra to the equation that is your life, so to speak.
I was asked recently what my grand plan is. I don't know if I have one outside of saying that I want to be happy in my life. Whatever happiness might be on any given day, be it short or long term, it matters not...just be happy. When I skid to the end of my life all I really hope for is no regrets. I know already that I have family and friends that love me. I will meet new people I will have new experiences and I know that I won't be alone. So ensuring that I am not afraid to change the equation as I work through this massive non binary thing known as life is my contribution to the chaos.
This is my approach....what is yours?
Ciao
D
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