Not too long ago I had won some tickets to see Kevin Hart do a show at the Metro Centre. I had to have people explain to me who he was because obviously I am so out of touch with the world that I didn't know anything about him or his comedy. So I didn't have any clue on what to expect from his show. While he had a few funny bits, in general he did nothing for me. No tears streaming down my face in comedic orgasm heaven. But I did walk out thinking that he was a douche bag, so I suppose that's something. Why? Because I feel he's a douche bag, that's why.
Let me begin this little rant o' mine with the acknowledgement that I am far from perfect when it comes to what I am going to go off on. I have learned lessons over my life and continue to do so. Sometimes I have been too casual with emotions, I am guilty of not being the best I can be when it comes to relationships for any number of reasons. I'm not looking for absolution, this is simply my way of saying that I could be doing better; know better, do better. That's all.
What I found objectionable about Kevin Hart was his objectification of women. Bitches be this and bitches be that. And many of his stories were about the "bitches" in his life. Those of you that have read a few posts here or know me personally know that I don't shy away from much of anything and very little shocks me, indeed I take pleasure in doing some shocking of my own. So when I take offence to this kind of crap spewing you know I'm not just saying something to be saying something. I take issue with it, because I have daughters and because I am a human being.
So why this today? A close friend got a message on a dating site the other day, another in a long string of utterly disgusting manifestations of what some guys think is what women need to hear. She's not unique in this as, sadly, I have a number of female friends that have shared the plethora of "dick pics" and barely veiled misogyny that passes for playful banter. Well, it is not. Not when it is unsolicited. Not when it comes in the form of some sort of exercise in male dominance. And especially when it is accompanied by some sort of porn induced idea around what a guy should do to a woman. Is it any wonder that the Me Too movement has gained such momentum?
I don't give a good god damn what consenting adults decide to do in their lives. Sex wise, dating wise, life wise...to each their own I say. But we must remember the key word here is consenting. None of the women I have as friends or ones that I have met in the course of my life would willingly accept an unsolicited dick pic...not one. So put it away, no one wants to see it.
This is but one issue in a larger discussion around the simple fact that there are far too many people in this world that feel they, and they alone, have the right of dominion over others. And far too often this is done to the detriment of women. Where in our history did this become a thing? How has society so evolved to allow the subjugation of women to be considered "normal". "Oh, it's just locker room talk." "Boys will be boys." "I'm not a sexist but." And we sit idly by. Pretend we didn't hear it or laugh it off silently. Hoping we don't get called out on our deafening silence. Instead, maybe we can all start acting like men of character. Reach for the higher ground of decency and understanding. Know that words matter and to not be so cavalier with their use.
If there is a silver lining that I will pass on to my friends it is this. Consider yourself fortunate to have discovered the quality of this persons character before getting too intertwined with them. It is not a pleasurable thing to be on the receiving end of this garbage, but know that it isn't personal, it really is him being him, showing you his true colours. Which is puke douche bag of course.
The picture above is courtesy of my good friend Margo. A strong and vibrant woman with a gift and passion for exploring, through her medium, the power of not only herself but of all women. Of all people really. Believe in you.
“Nothing and no one is perfect”
Ciao
D
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