More Tales From Beyond the Pass

In my younger days I was, how shall we put this, a little more quick to react without thinking. Not always of course but there were occasions when I snapped, simply lost my cool and there would be no confusing the look and tone that I was expressing. I've been told that I have a look, call it chef look, that essentially burns a hole through someone and exposes them to their own failings as human beings. I don't mean to but I can't discount the fact that it has happened. Thankfully it is a rare occurrence in my life now, I just don't get angry. I have never needed to be the Gordon Ramsey yelling kind of chef. Maybe that's where the look comes in, or maybe there is the belief that at any moment I might snap. And that, seemingly, keeps people in check. I don't know but I will relate a few humorous occasions when I did snap.

Back before opening the Inn I worked as the sous chef at the Prince George Hotel. My area of responsibility was acting as chef for the somewhat fine dining restaurant in the hotel, I would over see lunch and dinner service and generally make sure the place ran smooth. On one night that turned out to be busier than expected the usual happened, shit hit the fan. First the POS machine went down. The POS machine is the computer system that allows orders to be processed and kept track of....without it we are in the stone ages with hand written orders and suspect transactions. Normally, our motto is no chit, no shit. We won't cook anything unless there is a piece of paper telling us to do so. When the POS goes down we have no choice but to revert to smoke signals or calligraphy on parchment for our orders. So the night goes, busy but running relatively smoothly. I was by myself as I had sent one of the cooks home early, not expecting it to be busy. The front of house was a different story, they weren't ready for any type of busy and there was a new waiter on...let's call him Kevin. Kevin was stupid and he didn't know it. He thought he knew what he was doing and knew it better than anyone else, he also didn't understand the hierarchy in the kitchen. I should note that the top down nature of my business means that my word is law. When I was second in command my power flowed through the chef as his number two. You didn't question the chef, the only response was yes chef, can I have another chef.....of course, I didn't always follow that rule, because A. I'm a natural rebel sometimes and B. I generally know what I'm doing. I'll question when appropriate or for clarification. And almost always with respect.

Kevin did not understand this. As he ran around flustered I could see he was going to lose his shit within about eight minutes. Turns out I was wrong, it was three minutes, and lo and behold he lost it with me. The young man threw up a hand written chit on the line that was completely illegible. It looked like a monkey with dyslexia had gotten hold of a pen. I called him back over and told him I could not read the chit could he please re-do it. This is where the wheels came off, he threw the mangled piece of paper back at me and yelled, actually yelled, just cook the fucking food. Well....I'm Croatian by blood, and we Croatians have a line that travels up our heads as we snap, I'm sure mine was instant and blood red. The only thing that stopped me from flying through the pass was gravity itself. I envisioned choking this little shit with my dominant arm while working pans with my other arm. Instead I reamed it with my best chef voice. You can imagine the vitriol being spewed forth from yours truly. And unbelievably he didn't understand....he walked away oblivious to how close to death he really was.

The next day I was called into the chefs office to explain what happened the previous night. I did, I apologised and he showed his support. Next I had to meet with the F & B Manager with Kevin. I apologised for losing my cool and reiterated the expectation that I expected. The manager was impressed with my eloquence and than Kevin did one of the most bone headed things I've ever seen. He turned and looked at me and said, I'm not apologising just because anyone thinks I should. I don't think I did anything wrong. Suffice to say....never saw Kevin again.

Years later, wiser and more calm I had a busy day going at the resort I was running. Three weddings on one night, it's a challenge but nothing that couldn't be handled. Problem was that a certain banquet server was working and driving me bat shit crazy. It started in the morning and ended only during service. All day, in her high pitched south shore drawl, Chef? What about this? Chef? What about that? Chef? Where can I find ice? All day. I told her on a few occasions to go ask her boss because I didn't have time to deal with this. Anyway, fast forward to service time and one of my cooks had screwed up a bit with a task that she was doing. It's ok, fix it and move on...quickly. She did it again and now I can see the wheels about to fall of if I didn't reach in and fix things....there was an edge and I was on it. In walks in the server...Chef? What about that? Lost it completely....for fuck sakes, go ask your fucking boss and leave me the fuck alone. Fuck!!! I had to walk away and quickly cool down so I could finish service and not ruin three weddings, so I bounded into the walk in fridge and yelled out in frustration. That was it, I was now fine. Back into the kitchen and everyone is gone....I'm sure I had a stupid look on my face as I said out loud where did everyone go? In walks in my sous chef and in a stern like voice I told him to go fix whatever needed to be fixed and do it now. His reaction was precious, he grabbed a cart and started walking around in a panic saying I don't know what I need to fix but I need to fix it now because chef is scaring the shot out of me.

Eventually everyone came back, we finished service and that was that. I guess nobody at this place had seen me lose it, I was always calm and jovial, hell I carried balloons in my pocket because of the helium tanks around. So this motley crew didn't know how to react to "chef face". I heard later that a number of people had hidden in the banquet space with the bartender practically trembling. Every once in awhile you have to pull a Gordie Howe and throw an elbow, show people that poking the bear isn't in their best interest.

But I'm much more calm now....hahahaha

Ciao
D