Caesar

Not the salad. Not the emperor and not Mr Romero. An old friend and colleague and a good guy is the subject of today's little post.

A character amongst characters, Caesar was, when I knew him well, a slightly twisted stylistic semi enigma that had talent to spare in the kitchen and the dance floor. He was quite gifted in the pastry department, his first true love but also quite adept to working the other end of the kitchen with us lesser beings. He was also, at times, frustrating as hell, making choices that would leave you scratching your head in disbelief as well as wondering if true artistry meant some form of insanity...I loved him dearly.

Life being what it is we have drifted apart due to distance and life in general but every once in awhile we do connect for a great conversation. Seems to me that it is way past due for that...so Facebook is being put to work in my desire to say hi. Can't wait to hear what he's been up to.

We met in our first year of college taking Culinary Management way back in 1988....for context, the Leafs had a more dismal year than average, finishing with only 28 wins on the year. Ed Olczyk was the leading scorer and Borje Salming was still playing for the team. The Blue Jays were playing their last season at Exhibition Park and the Raptors did not exist....that's 28 years ago. My, my.

All of us first year chef wannabe's got to know each other really quickly, I'd say we had gelled into a close knit group within the first month and our little groups were well on the way to be formed. Caesar and another friend, Steve, and I had formed a little trio of stupidity. If Steve was the stud muffin than Caesar was the diva and I was the joker. The Id, the Ego and the Super Ego. Good times.

While we were all developing our skills and trying to score with the only two girls in our class we shared some fun times together, I remember much laughter and a special bond being built between us. Steve and Caesar had a love hate relationship going on as well. One most likely driven by Caesars attraction to Steve and Steve's refusal to think with his head based brain...they got on each others nerves constantly but they really did like each other. They took pleasure in egging the other person on, closer to a manic state of mind where literally anything was possible...including threats of violence. Good times.

Caesar is gay, we all thought he was in school but he never came out until a few years later after he left a catering business that he and I and another friend, Peter, had started in 1990. He would regale us with stories of meeting random women and having risque sexual encounters. Really pushing the bounds of legality and morality. None of us believed him but we would have never said a thing...he simply wasn't ready to come out. When the time came it was quite the production for my Filipino frenetic friend. He called me up one Saturday afternoon and asked me to come see him at the restaurant he was working at. For some reason I had the day off so I'm pretty sure I wasn't in the mood to head downtown from the relative safe confines of stylish Etobicoke. He begged me, saying it was important. Sure Caesar, I'll be down in a bit. Once there, sitting in front of him, he looked nervous, he looked stressed out. He talked of how hard it was to be honest and how he was tired of putting up a false face. I really thought he was talking about his job for some reason. He took my hands in his and told me he was gay. Long pause....."you're what?" said I. "I'm gay, please understand" was his reply. I waited for a few seconds before answering, both for effect and for laughs...."you dragged me downtown on a day off to tell me you're gay?" "Are you fucking kidding me...why don't you now tell me about your cat or something else that I already knew?" He actually looked shocked, "what do you mean you already knew?" Caesar, Caesar, Caesar...said in the same tone that Don Corleone whispered Bonaserra's name when the undertaker came looking for vengeance. "Of course I know, we all know...and we couldn't give a rats ass of a fuck about it." We loved the guy for him, not his sexuality and it was a tad off putting to think he was worried that we wouldn't accept him as he was until he explained how some people he knew were pretty homophobic. Well, you're safe with us my friend...now, if there's nothing else please let go of my hand so I can go the fuck home.

A few years later, after I had moved to Nova Scotia, I had an opportunity to meet up with him while I was visiting Toronto. Now, while he was a sweetheart he sometimes made some funny choices. We hadn't seen each other in probably four years, so of course he picked a loud dance club to meet at. On gay night of all things. And while I couldn't care less what your particular preference his for a mate or sexual partner, I am the straightest guy in the world...I think my love of women practically oozes out of me, and this is how I found myself in this cavern of a club with probably 500 men, all shirtless and in jeans, raving to whatever annoying sounds being played that passed for music. I think I stood out a bit. All good of course and we had a great time catching up, drinking and smoking cigars in a somewhat less noisy lounge. Good times.

I'm hoping we can once again find the time to catch up soon....maybe he can teach me to dance, that stylish smooth easy going nut job artist. Good times.

Ciao
D