Mirrors

Maybe I can call this Askew Revisited, for the original see here Askew

I tend to be a very positive and fun loving kind of guy, but I must admit that the past month or so I have felt off in that department. And it took me the better part of that month to first realize it and than figure out why it was so. Was it the "eye"? Was it work? A budding relationship? All those things in small doses but the conclusion was that because I was getting dragged back to court for a divorce that was signed, sealed and delivered I was feeling kind of bitter and angry. Maybe rightly so but I do dislike going down that negative road...it's not me.

From time to time a mirror has to be held up right in front of me, the me that can be my harshest critic, so that the first step to correcting a problem can take place. Which of course is realizing that there is a problem. Sometimes someone else will do the mirror holding for me...close friends, family and lovers...and I am always and forever grateful that they would do this for me. It makes me feel kind of special to be honest.

So, while I work towards rectifying this confounded divorce once and for all....I hope, I'm hitting the reset button on my attitude thing. Hmmmmm, I wonder if Drumph winning has anything to do with it? But seriously, despite the above mentioned Debbie Downer routine I already feel a little better about things.

Unfortunately the budding romance fell apart the other night...a result of a number of factors that just seemed to weigh on us both. We ended well though and I have a good feeling that we will remain friends and that is a good thing. While writing an email to an old friend of mine relating this turn of events, a quote popped into my head (go figure right). While I'm unhappy that the relationship fell, the fall didn't kill us...which led to this from the movie The Lion in Winter...  

"As if it matters how a man falls down. 

When the fall is all that's left it matters very much"

It does matter how things end and it does matter that we take the high road. Putting aside feelings of hurt and understanding that sometimes things simply stop working and no one is to blame. If you can take a positive or two away from the experience than that should be considered a good thing. I do and almost always look for the positives...I think in the end that's one of the things that people like about me.

A new month, full of holiday parties and turkey polluza out the wazula, a little melancholy aside I'm feeling like I've crossed a bridge from that negative shit. So welcome back to normal, or what passes as normal in my life.

Ciao
D