There is one day that reigns supreme for its chaos in the hotel world. The day that most cooks and chefs dread. A monumental effort in prep and production followed by a few hours of smiling benignly for the festooned attendees. New Years Day, Easter...all pale compared to Mother's Day when it comes to the world of hotel brunches. Not that mom doesn't deserve a special time out, quite the contrary, she probably deserves more than that but Mother's Day is when Hallmark and the flower industry, not to mention my business gleefully welcome you with open arms....ahhhhhh, capitalism at its finest.
So, naturally I'm writing about mom. My mom, your mom, everyone's mom. Of course a special place for my mom as she is my mom and quite awesome to boot. Ma for short. Mother when I want to bug her...as in, mother what's for supper? Her death stare can sometimes flash when I do that. Death stare you ask? Surely you know what I'm speaking of...that look that only a mom can give that would have easily stopped you in your tracks of whatever mayhem you were about to cause. Well, at least for a little while...rebellious as I was growing up, my moms stare and wooden spoon stopped working when I could snap the spoon in one hand and throw her or my dad on my shoulder. I think at that point it became a wait and see how he turns out kind of thing. I'm sure in some ways they are still waiting for me to grow up. I don't think I ever will, I'm enjoying things a little too much.
Ma hasn't had the easiest of lives. My oldest recently got the whole story from her and it made her cry, would make most people cry I think. Born in a time and place when sometimes things that most of us now take for granted were considered luxuries. Like an education, opportunities, stability. Nope, my mom had it rough. From a young age basically out on her own in a strange land. Life sometimes isn't fair and god doth like his tricks. But through it all, and I do mean all, she has always managed to show resilience and strength that seems to know no bounds. I'm sure reality is a little different but what I see is a fierce love that, to me, defines the idea of wearing your heart on your sleeve. You don't have to wonder what my mom is thinking or if something is wrong, it's there if you care to look.
My mom is like a sponge when it comes to the trials of others and especially her family. Your problem becomes her problem, often to her own detriment but you know you simply can't change some people. It's the way she is wired, she's a giver. Every time there was a"crisis" it was her that we looked to for comfort and it was her that was going to be there. She was there at the hospital, probably before the ambulance got there, when I burned my legs with a vat of boiling water back in 1992. She was the one that sat with me in the hospital all night when I went to emergency after I jumped off that car in a controlled landing attempt, even though at the time she was under the impression that I had had a bike accident. Scraped knees, rope burns on the forehead (that's a funny story I have to tell you about sometime), kidney stones and cancer...those and many more things that she has lived through. And that's only with me. My sister, my father, other relatives and friends alike...your pain becomes her pain. And while fatalistic in some ways, I know my cancer diagnosis left her with a "dead and buried" feeling of helpless fear, she can't help herself in her feelings. And that's one of the reasons I love her.
She would have doled out the wooden spoon on us for crossing any number of lines growing up if we deserved punishment but at the same time, but if you had the misfortune of doing wrong by us, you would feel her wrath. Maybe that's where I get Chef Eyes from? Hmmmmmmm. I know for certain that's where I get my approach to my kids. If they have done wrong then for sure they deserve to be reprimanded. Cross my kids unfairly or worse, hurt them, there is a fair to good chance that you're going to end up with a spoon sticking out of your chest staring into my eyes. That fierce love can carry you through a lot and I know that is where her strength comes from.
Be it my mom or the moms I have come to know over the years, I have come to appreciate more the love only a mom can feel. That's not to discount a father's love of course, simply to say that with mom it is different. For all its complications there is something, a bond if you will, that knows no boundaries and can be as strong as oak. The idea that you don't cross mama bear in the woods would be easily adapted to mom in the suburbs or out in the country. Moms rule...moms are awesome.
The cards, the flowers, the buffets...enjoy them all but do remember to tell her how much you love her. That's what she wants the most. She gives you her heart the least you could do is give a part of yours back.
Love you Ma
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