Me Too

Many years from now, while resting comfortably with either the cliffs of Santorini or the hills of Tuscany outside of my window, I will reflect on much as my life comes to its inevitable conclusion. I think maybe it's an inescapable fact that we do look back on the measure of our lives. For me, I'd like to think that I will go out as Don Corleone did, with "life is so beautiful" on his lips. Living life fully and completely whenever possible means embracing what it means to be human..if we do so than maybe we can go out as the Don did.

What will I think of? Everything of course. No different than I do today. At any given time any number of the multitude of boxes that are in my brain are getting shuffled around for, at the very least, a cursory thought. It's simply the way it is, barring dementia or Alzheimer's, why would any of that change? The battles won and lost, the body of my working life and the experiences that I have gained from it, my loves, my people and of course, my kids.

Ah, my kids. My wonderful brood. The very best of me. On those last days I know I will find myself thinking of their lives and the part I played in being their father. Did they grow up into the people I imagined them to be? Did they find their happiness? Did they live with passion? Were they good people? And that's what I want to speak to...good people.

Making the rounds on social media is a campaign throwing light on the scope and scale of sexual assault perpetuated upon women. "Me too" is simply the women of this world letting it know that they too have been assaulted. No details other than saying, yes...me too. I am shocked and yet not really surprised anymore at the breadth and width of this. Friends near and far, friends of friends, family...men, what we do to women. It is unbelievable really. Where are the fathers of sons? Where are we as a society that we would prefer to look away than deal with the hard facts that yes, this is happening and yes we are complicit if we stay silent.

As a father of daughters I cringe that they have to go through life hoping they don't get assaulted in some way. What kind of world have we built that that's even a thought? I'm not a woman so I can't possibly relate to the idea of worrying about walking down a street without enduring something, anything, being said or done. I won't try because I don't think I could do justice to the stain that it is.

As a father of a son, well...that's where maybe I can do a little more than offer my unconditional love and support for my girls. I can teach him that there is no way that any of that behaviour would be acceptable. That he must choose to be a good guy personally and also stand up for people when there are bad guys around. "Oh, that's just locker room talk" or "that's just Harvey" are unacceptable and I think that slowly, too slowly, things are being brought out into the light of day to be finally dealt with. There is a lot more to do and all of us are responsible for our parts...it starts with teaching our children what's what. And moving to take away the power that these people have built around themselves as a buffer from persecution. And finally ensuring that they aren't protected by the vagaries of ass hole judges and a system that protects those with money while re-victimizing the women that have stepped up to say no more. These dicks and douche bags can't continue on if we join women to stand up to them.

I have faith that my boy will grow up to be that man, who in turn will pass along his lessons through his life. I have faith that, in time, it will actually become better in a very real way for the women of the world...that the "isms" of our world will fall away so that we can all be treated equally, regardless of gender, race or choices. Wouldn't that be a way to truly pay homage to the idea that "life is so beautiful"....because it should be beautiful for all of us.

Ciao
D