Echoes

"No one can change the sound of an echo" 

I told you I would come back to this the other day. I liked this quote and I couldn't put a finger on why at the time so I decided to leave it be. And like an echo it kept playing in the background, there but not really there. Straining to be heard and understood, or maybe it was me simply wanting to understand it better.

The imagery of time and reverberation of ones actions and words is what I feel when I read that quote. Like skipping a rock over the surface of a still pond, the ripples have expected and unexpected resonance. Science can explain the expected ones, nobody can predict the unexpected ones. A light breeze, a fish swimming near the surface, a butterfly flapping it's wings in China, who knows really and for certain not all echos will be understood. The same can be said for words spoken out loud. You can't take back an angry word, a hurtful insult. Think about it for a moment, I would venture we have all been on the giving and receiving end of a mean word and how it has stayed with us over all these years. There have been times that I wish I could have sucked those words back into my mouth before they did the damage they did, but unfortunately, despite my super powers, I was not able to. Be it a hyped up argument where emotions got the better of us or simply because of an ill timed thought or, worse, a desire to hurt someone for whatever reason, the end result is the same. Once you have seen the wooden nativity scenes on peoples lawns as an epic battle between two dinosaurs over a table saw you can't unsee it, just as you can't unsay what you just said. You cracked the glass, you pulled the cover back to reveal your thoughts and that shit sticks.

And try as you might, the sincerest apology is not going to change the fact that you broke the covenant, you set in motion a chain of events that no one can tell you how it will play out. My ex wife, before we were married, called me a jerk once. And it bothered me then and it bothers me now. Not only because it was undeserved in my opinion but because it spoke to a certain kind of attitude and way of thinking I simply didn't and don't care for. 25 plus years on and this still echoes with me. Words matter. They always have and they always will.

I suppose this plays against the backdrop of all that is going on around me. the fuzzy cloud of all of life's vagaries, seemingly on full display. Not just for me but for others as well. Maybe it's the holidays, maybe it's the world or maybe it's simply echoes from the past bouncing around. 

Photo courtesy of my dear friend Margo

Ciao
D