Communication is everything they say. Not sure who "they" are but I tend to think "they" are right in this case. It's interesting how communication has developed, different tools and methods of expressing oneself, how things get misinterpreted and the fallout there after. In an effort to be open and honest with people we sometimes run into situations that would have made it to a Three's Company episode with the ridiculous misunderstandings....people are funny.
In this way, I think a lot of us use idioms and cliches because they are what they are and because they are easy. While casting about for something to say we reach for old favourites because they are well known and we almost instantly can recognize the message contained within. When I am trying to convey a bit of dime store wisdom to my cat it might go like this...
"Listen Boots, you can't cry over spilt milk, it is what it is my furry friend and we simply have to understand that shit happens. The ball is in your court now and you're going to have to shape up or ship out before I let the cat of the bag. I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore, you need to look at this as a blessing in disguise."
I'm not really saying anything specific but my cat should understand what my message is. Not unlike the interviews between periods with hockey players that say varying versions of the same things across the board. You know they are reading from the same playbook. Just once I'd love to see Sidney Crosby say something like "well Bob, we're down a bit right now but I think that maybe we're lucky to be down only by two goals. We are stinking the joint out right now and if I can be more direct, if Kessel doesn't start skating and maybe, you know, hit a few people instead of being a fucking cherry picking goal slut we might be able to mount an offence that doesn't look like my grandmother trying to get out of bed after an 8 hour sherry bender."
Reaching for an old saying or a well worn phrase can be a place holder. A way of contributing to a conversation without really contributing. And I would argue that it's OK to do so in certain situations, say the non important work and social conversations that happen every day. Walking by someone in the hall at work..."hey, how are you?" "I'm doing well thanks, how about you?" as we continue to walk in opposite direction. Not listening or hearing. Or my favourite, "not bad for an old guy." I don't think anyone actually wants to hear anything past that in these situations. "Hey, how are you?" "Well, I'm OK but I think I might have a case of scabies going on right now, not to mention the fact that I owe $2000 on a cock fight last night. But how are you Jack?" Stick to the banality. And know your audience.
While idioms and, by extension, cliches are easy to use and can be quite useful in a wide range of circumstances they detract from real communication, the kind that can get down deep with people. If you've read any of my posts you know the world of dating and relationships provides constant fodder for this blog o' mine. The ups and downs to a degree but more what I am learning through it all. One of those things, which I have known all along really, now just on a deeper level, is that being able to brush aside the pablum and space fillers in a chat is what makes for some wonderful possibilities. It's being able to communicate with your partner, your family and your friends that sets things apart. To use my best friend as an example, we can range in topics from Drumph and his machinations, the trouble that is caused by the religions of the world, the Leafs, grief of a lost son, ultrasonic tests on composite materials, sushi, Willie Nelson and poop stories. We get each other and we do so because we can communicate. We don't agree on all things but we have enough common ground to have a solid foundation. Over the years we have built up our own version of the stealing horses key to success, it can make no sense to some others and we really don't give a fuck. We are ourselves and provide zero fake moments. That, in a nutshell, is what all relationships should be built on. In my humble opinion.
While idioms and, by extension, cliches are easy to use and can be quite useful in a wide range of circumstances they detract from real communication, the kind that can get down deep with people. If you've read any of my posts you know the world of dating and relationships provides constant fodder for this blog o' mine. The ups and downs to a degree but more what I am learning through it all. One of those things, which I have known all along really, now just on a deeper level, is that being able to brush aside the pablum and space fillers in a chat is what makes for some wonderful possibilities. It's being able to communicate with your partner, your family and your friends that sets things apart. To use my best friend as an example, we can range in topics from Drumph and his machinations, the trouble that is caused by the religions of the world, the Leafs, grief of a lost son, ultrasonic tests on composite materials, sushi, Willie Nelson and poop stories. We get each other and we do so because we can communicate. We don't agree on all things but we have enough common ground to have a solid foundation. Over the years we have built up our own version of the stealing horses key to success, it can make no sense to some others and we really don't give a fuck. We are ourselves and provide zero fake moments. That, in a nutshell, is what all relationships should be built on. In my humble opinion.
So, I think it's time to put my nose to the grindstone and get back to the drawing board.
Ciao
D
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