Goldilocks Syndrome

John Cleese told me to steal from other people so that's what I'm doing. Are you gonna argue with Mr Cleese? I didn't think so. I know I wouldn't.

What am I stealing? Words and ideas. Pearls of wisdom. Sometimes nonsense. Today I am lifting from my guru Aaron Sorkin to be exact. What a surprise eh?

To paraphrase:

"You know what a Goldilocks planet is? It's a planet with the potential to support life 

because of its proximity to a star.

Not too hot, not too cold.

Near liquid water, but not made of liquid water

Enough oxygen, but too much nitrogen

And of all the planets, 1300 were identified but only two were confirmed. 

And of those two, one is radioactive.

Which leaves only one planet in all of space that is perfect.

You're talking about what I think you are? I think so." 

I've spent a bit of time this past week or so talking to friends, using my down time of recovery to catch up and such with people. Drank a bunch of coffee...too much coffee. Since most of these friends are women that I have met in the dating process over the past few years, that have become friends, inevitably talk turns to the eternal search for the "one"

We speak about the experiences we have had, both good and bad. We speak about the what ifs. We speak about where we are. And we speak about whether or not there is a "one" out there. From my perspective, yes. There is someone out there for me that will one day leave me completely vulnerable and happy to be so. Not everyone thinks that way though, and I'm pretty sure my doughy naivete in this area is both funny and annoying to some of my friends. But because we are friends we go along with the whole thing because, in the end we truly want everyone to find whatever it is they are searching for.

This isn't going to spiral into dating advice, simply some observations on the world of dating in your 40's. In case you missed it, the place to meet people now is online since, and lets be honest here, I'm not going to a bar to pick anyone up and I'm a bit too shy to start up a conversation with someone at the local Sobeys. I can just imagine my ill timed comment whilst perusing the melon section of the produce area. Bam! I have enough trouble with my mouth and my warped sense of humour. I don't need to be banned from the grocery store to boot.

So, a few observations:

We all have baggage. How can you be our age and not have them? As long as it doesn't rule your every day life it should be cool. In fact, and here is the tapestry thing at play, I do want to know the story. How did you get here from there? Pretending something didn't happen or didn't have some effect on you is disingenuous I think.

I try not to have boxes to check off or fill. Those deal breakers in some ways have the potential to limit you and limit your possibilities. I'm not talking about height and hair colour here, which is silly in it's own way. If you're attracted to blonde I get that, but don't discount that red head...you have no idea what is possible in that direction until you walk in that direction. Granted, I do have a few litmus tests that I have developed. I'm sure most would agree with me that they aren't too far fetched.

• You can't support Drumph and his ilk
• A cruise to Europe is not really going to Europe
• Be nice

Easy right? 

We are all crazy to some extent. We all have our own proclivities that make us who we are, as it should be, lest we all be the same. Who wants to live in a world full of storm troopers after all? And holding out for "perfect" is a good way to ensure that you won't be celebrating Christmas with someone special. I like a little bit of crazy, the trick is to find how much crazy you're willing to welcome in. I am almost positive that I'm not always an easy person to be with, I have my ways and my views, but I hope I am accepted for what and who I am. For sure I am not changing because as I have stated before, we simply don't change who we truly are. So why bother trying to push on the ocean? And who am I to ask you to change so you can fit into my ideal of a partner? That's why I wouldn't even consider asking. Be yourself, because I certainly am going to be. Be messy, be quirky, be weird...be you.

In the end it still, for me, boils down to opening yourself up. Allowing the possibility of something special to walk in the door as you sit down for the umpteenth beverage. You'll get hurt, you'll have false starts and sometimes it will seem like it isn't even worth it, but like the great philosopher Dory so poetically said...just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

Let me leave you with one last little nugget of wisdom. Curly's Law can be found in the movie City Slickers as Mitch and Curly ride the open range, grand vistas all around as they sit atop their faithful steeds. 

"Do you know what the secret of life is?

This (holding up one finger)

Your finger?

One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean shit.

But, what is the "one thing?"

That's what you have to find out."

Is it as simple as that? Maybe. Maybe not. But it certainly seems like a good place to start.

Ciao

D

To analyze the atmosphere and find planets that match the different requirements.
1,300 planets were identified, but only two confirmed.
And of those two, one turned out to be something.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-newsroom&episode=s02e06

Near liquid water, but not made of liquid water.
Enough oxygen, but not too much nitrogen.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-newsroom&episode=s02e06

Not too hot, not too cold.
- Right.
Near liquid water, but not made of liquid water.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-newsroom&episode=s02e06

- Right.
Near liquid water, but not made of liquid water.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-newsroom&episode=s02e06

- Not too hot, not too cold.
- Right.
Near liquid water, but not made of liquid water.
Enough oxygen, but not too much nitrogen.
And we use something, um - Transit spectroscopy.
- I think that's what it's called.
To analyze the atmosphere and find planets that match the different requirements.
1,300 planets were identified, but only two confirmed.
And of those two, one turned out to be something.
- Radioactive.
- Yeah.
So right now that leaves one planet in all of space that's perfect.
You're talking about what I think you're talking about, right? - I probably am.
- All right.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-newsroom&episode=s02e06

- Not too hot, not too cold.
- Right.
Near liquid water, but not made of liquid water.
Enough oxygen, but not too much nitrogen.
And we use something, um - Transit spectroscopy.
- I think that's what it's called.
To analyze the atmosphere and find planets that match the different requirements.
1,300 planets were identified, but only two confirmed.
And of those two, one turned out to be something.
- Radioactive.
- Yeah.
So right now that leaves one planet in all of space that's perfect.
You're talking about what I think you're talking about, right? - I probably am.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-newsroom&episode=s02e06