In my guise of mild mannered chef extraordinaire I do a pretty good job of hiding some of my more extreme proclivities. Nobody would know that I can swear with the best of them or that I have a disdain for stupidity....right? I know, you're shocked. Let me shock you some more. I'm opinionated sometimes. I even, from time to time, feel strongly about things. Told you it was shocking. You're shocked because I hide it so well...you would never had known any of this if I hadn't told you just now. Well, maybe if you had spent two minutes of your day with me or read just about any other blog post here on Throat Punchers Unite. Maybe.
What I'm saying is that despite what you may know or have read I actually am a pretty calm sort of fellow. I rarely blow up anymore and I hardly ever get angry, despite having many things around me that do cause me to question the path of peace. What I've learned over time is that there really is no point in losing your shit. The sun will come up tomorrow regardless of what may be ruining your life right now. This too shall pass. But I'll be the first to admit that it can be all sorts of fun to lose it on occasion.
The old saying that you shouldn't poke a bear is very apropos for me. I ignore most pokes simply because I don't have the time or the inclination to get tangled up with most people, I'm content being happy and doing my thing. Still, I have been known to go ballistic and when I do, I usually do it to set a precedent or warn people that maybe, just maybe, I'm not to be trifled with. Of course this comes from my work world and the general reputations that chefs have of being, how shall we put it, crazy ass fuckers. I think it comes from the fact that we work in a regimented system with fire, raw meat and sharp knives at our disposal. In my kitchen, my word is law. I don't flaunt it in anyway because I believe in the team but everyone knows that if I say this is the way it is than that's the way it is. But back to the losing it rationale...
I believe in the idea that every once in awhile you have to let people see what the bad side of the equation can be like, in an effort to keep everyone honest and knowing who the boss really is. I call it throwing an elbow, publicly. Going off the deep end shows people that maybe you're not as mild mannered as they they thought thus meaning that you never really know what could happen should you decide to piss the chef off. Granted, I haven't done this since 2010 so you can imagine that either I am due or I have left it all behind me in a sort of zen like co-existence with my fellow culinarians. I think it's option two by the way.
In the past, when I have lost it, they were generally epic moments of anger released in somewhat controlled explosions of not only verbal lashing but verbal lashing with my chef voice. Supposedly it's scary. And supposedly I have a look that can scare satan himself but I don't know anything about that. What these moments of furious anger did was put everyone within my sphere of influence on notice...don't fuck with me. Do your job you moronic moron and leave me the fuck alone. Nice eh? Whatever. Like I said, they are far and few between and not since the epic Oak Island release of 2010 has anyone seen it. I cleared an entire room of cooks and servers in that one....but it accomplished exactly two things, released pent up frustration and made the person that was pissing me off finally stop. Bonus points for reminding everyone around that the bear was still alive.
Seeing how I don't actually care for that sort of expression I'm glad it has faded to black in my life. In retrospect though it is clear to me now that there were other factors at play. You can guess what they are if you have read a few posts here but being unhappy in one part of your life can easily translate to other parts. Time and perspective have shown me what these things were. Thankfully life is now much more relaxed with me and I know that there are a few main reasons...all to do with the aforementioned perspective and outlook. Things are good that way my friends.
Everyone in my business has seen or been a part of this, almost as if it is bred within our kind to be our trait. Gladly it is fading, like the Brooklyn accent, it is starting to disappear. Sure there are too many pockets of it around but generally speaking it is becoming a thing of the past. Youngsters coming up in the business won't tolerate it anymore, HR will have something to say, social movements akin to #metoo will expose you to the light of day and the norms of our business are adapting to a new reality, slowly to be sure, but surely to be clear.
Ciao
D
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