That Was Unexpected

"Quando dio vuole castigarci, ci manda quello che desideriamo"

"When the Gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers"

Yes, I'm riffing on a quote again, Sorkins no less, but to be fair, he was riffing on Oscar Wilde...so there. So what shall we discuss today? Careful what you wish for? Better the devil you know than the one you don't? The grass is always greener on the other side? Tuberculosis? The last one was a Seinfeld thing to see if you were paying attention.

It's been an interesting and eventful time for me. My daughter has been accepted into medical school, thus relieving her of a certain amount of uncertainty and stress. I mentioned to my super that I'd like to explore the idea of getting out of my lease and he pretty much has me on the clock now since he has all but rented the apartment out already....I should just learn to keep my mouth shut. Throw in a medical appointment or two and you have a busy few days around Chez Orovec. The big thing is obviously the medical school news. So proud of her and all the work she has done to get there, but in many ways this just the beginning. The beginning of a new set of challenges. I'm certain she will excel but I'm also certain that the stresses of today will give way to other stresses. That's both the curse and beauty of life, it never ends. We just keep moving the goal posts. 

I can just hear the conversation sometime next fall; why the hell did I want to get into medical school? Holy crap all the work, all the stress....GAH!!!! By getting exactly what she hoped for, she may very get more than she bargained for. Personally I'm not so fatalistic to think that the Gods are out to get me or anyone else but I know of a lot of people that do feel that way...so I'm left wondering if they question God when something bad happens. Does he answer all prayers? Yes they say, but sometimes the answer is no and sometimes the answer is what you wished for and you end up cursing the living hell out of it all. GAH!!!!

I wonder if sometimes we spend so much energy on wishing and working for some desired utopia that we miss the good things along the way. And when we do get that thing that our hearts so desired we are left less than impressed and thinking that maybe it was the next thing over we were really looking for. The big thing. Ignore all else and focus on the big thing.

Years ago, a real estate agent that we had used when we bought our first home in Lunenburg to be converted to a B & B, was having a chat with me over a coffee. We were essentially sharing a bit of gossip around another property in town that we were contemplating buying. A much larger but much more lucrative opportunity. It seems the people that had purchased it barely a year ago were looking to get out because of the marriage breaking apart. I was a tad shocked to think that someone could enter into such a huge endeavour if their marriage was rocky, then my friend said something a little prophetic...sometimes people think that by doing a large thing together the "little" problems will fade away. I probably would have missed the irony if at that time my marriage was on the rocks because I'm stupid that way but his bit of wisdom proved to be true years later.

Too often we miss the signs of discontent in our lives because of all the noise around us. The kids, work, mortgage payments, the car needs new tires and so on and so on. In the midst of all this we dream of some vision that will make it all seem right. Perhaps a trip to the Greek Isles to rekindle love. A grand gesture to right a wrong. But as I touched upon in my last post, the real issues seem to be shunted off in favour of the immediate. We haven't had a true meandering conversation about "us" in 5 years but sure let's go sit on a beach and ignore that for a little while longer.

While we pray to the Gods for whatever it is we think we want we may be missing the better part of our lives. The dogged pursuit of greener pastures or the plum job can mask what we maybe should be focusing on. Don't ask me what that is of course, I simply know what it might be for me. I'm good with that. My fortune cookie wisdom works for me, I'll share if you want but really you need your own cookie.

Photo courtesy of my talented friend Margo

Ciao
D

Do You See The Light?

I had some time to kill last week one day while waiting around for some Taxi Dad duties so I found myself at the library with an enjoyable way to spend some time. I was thumbing through magazines looking for something to read and I came across The Atlantic. In particular I started reading an article on why people cheat. Now, don't worry, this isn't about breaking commandment number seven, I came across a quote (go figure) that struck me. I took a picture of it because I knew I wanted to explore it when I had the time.

"To doggedly look for marital flaws in order to understand cases like Priya's is an example of what's known as the "Streetlight Effect." A drunk man looks for his keys not where he dropped them but where the light is. Human beings have a tendency to look for the truth in places where it is easiest to search rather than the places where it is likely to be."

That's a very interesting idea to me but I don't think I would classify it as a tendency as mush as human nature. I think we do look for the easy answers, the clichéd responses. When faced with the myriad of daily complexities that come our way it's the easy road that is often taken. Instead of taking the time to think about what it is that we are looking for and explore the possibilities of what may really be going on.

For some reason I was invited to a local university  to sit on a business panel for a Q & A discussion. While I sat there cursing my inability to say no and wondering what kind of jokes I could get away with and would they even be understood by the young faces in front of me I thought of the great opening scene from the show The Newsroom. Will McAvoy goes completely off the rails on a Q & A panel answering the question: what makes America the greatest country on earth? Would I? Could I? Given the opportunity would I stand up on the soap box and shout at the sky as he did below?

"And with a straight face, you're gonna tell students that America's so star-spangled awesome, that we're the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom, Japan has freedom, the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium has freedom. So 207 sovereign states in the world, like 180 of them have freedom. And yeah, you, sorority girl. Just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there's some things you should know, and one of them is, there's absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we're the greatest country in the world. We're 7th in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 49th in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, 3rd in median household income, number 4 in labor force, and number 4 in exports. We lead the world in only 3 categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined. 25 of whom are allies. Now, none of this is the fault of a 20 year old college student. But you, nonetheless, are without a doubt a member of the worst, period, generation, period, ever, period, so when you ask, 'What makes us the greatest country in the world?' I dunno know what the fuck you're talking about! Yosemite? It sure used to be. We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reasons, we passed laws, struck down laws for moral reasons, we waged wars on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors. We put our money where our mouths were, and we never beat our chest. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and we cultivated the world's greatest artists and the world's greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn't belittle it, it didn't make us feel inferior. We didn't identify ourselves by who we voted for in our last election, and we didn't we didn't scare so easy...Huh. We were able to be all these things, and to do all these things, because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore."

Of course this is a Sorkin moment and I am not in the habit of going off the rails, but you want to know something? I did have a moment or two where I, in my way, gave a different response from my fellow panellists. For example, in response to a student question around conflict resolution, I manged a little extemporaneous ramblings on Pareto's Law and the fact that the customer is hardly ever right. It came out of nowhere and actually sounded, at least to my ears, partially coherent. I didn't look for the answer in the light, but in the shadows. We know the easy answer is simply that, easy. It might be right but often it is wrong or too simple. Life is not black and white. We aren't binary creatures so why would the answers be binary.

By no stretch am I innocent of the easy answer in my own life, I respond as many of us would to the questions around our lives. But more and more I have noticed my desire to delve deeper. To ask the questions and to look elsewhere for answers. The status quo is not always going to be acceptable. So maybe I am learning and growing more or maybe I'm simply more in tune with that in my own life. I seek it out now from others. Keep the canned answers along with the canned laughter...on a shelf far from me.

I love the fluidity and meandering nature that conversations can take these days. An afternoon sipping latte's and not talking about the weather is near perfection for me. When I get asked what I like to do for fun when out on a date my answer is this, this very thing we are doing. It matters not if it's over a meal, a glass of wine or as we drive to nowhere, I want to be informed and to have context and meaning thrown up at me while asking and answering questions. Socrates declared "an unexamined life is not worth living" while choosing death over exile. Ballsy. I wouldn't go that far but I can certainly appreciate the sentiment.

A lot of what has transpired over the past five years for me personally can be traced back to the simple fact that communication, true communication, was lost to my ex and I. The few times we did more than scratch the surface it was generally kept to the well lit areas. Casting about for answers but more often than not, something or someone to blame. Afraid to go into the dark lest a hard truth be found. Sad.

I won't easily go down the road ever again. If my mantra these days is about living out loud in a manner that befits being alive than just as important will be fidelity to the idea that to be in a living state we must be willing to see and experience all that we have to offer, through a prism of honesty and an acceptance that there is life in the darkness as well as the light.

Ciao
D

Finding Your Voice

Here's the setting. The living room in our new house in the fall of 2008. There is an election going on with Harper the Numbnutz leading the Conservatives and Stephane Dion leading the Liberals. From all indicators, as I recall, the Harperites were going to win so this whole episode was really for nothing. Mr Dion, being pure Quebecois, had difficulty with the English language, his heavy accent coupled with having to translate in his head hindered him in getting his message out. For better or worse his ideas on the "green shift" as he called it, were not very well received. Perhaps a case of too much too soon but he was crucified for his ideas.

Anyway, there we are sitting around the TV watching the minor scandal being reported on one evening. Seems that the local "newsman" asked Stephane a question that left the audience confused and Mr Dion sounding confused and befuddled. Side note here, I watched the interview and the question was answered, but because of the above mentioned issue the answer seemed half formed and confused. The anchor was as much to blame for being an idiot but that's another story. The story here is when my ex wife turned to me and said "so, you're voting for him?" in a disdainful way showing how she felt about Mr Dion. Now, I would have simply nodded and let it alone, not being one to instigate a fight. My ex knew full and well my thoughts but I think she felt like she had the upper hand somehow because her sister was there. So, the sister in-law turns and says why would you vote for him? One last time I tried to diffuse, "because I am" was my response. "But why?" OK....stupid you for not seeing the danger signs. "Oh I don't know, maybe because I could never vote for a homophobic ass licker like Harper." The look on her face was both priceless and sad, because she didn't know enough to not start up with me in the first place and certainly didn't know when to stop. Now I love a good well thought out debate, this wasn't going to be one of them. And it seems I was the only one in the room that knew it.

Taking turns the sisters tried valiantly to win the day with their arguments against gay marriage and all it's evils. "Why can't they call it something else, it's a sacrament" was a familiar line of answering. Well, I amused myself a little and than got bored with the whole situation. First I asked my ex what would she do if our son came to you one day and said he was in love and it was with another man? How would you respond? The brief awkward silence was telling for me. To end it all I asked simply wouldn't you want your son or daughter to be able to publicly declare their love for another person, regardless of their sexual preference. To have the same rights and responsibilities of a straight couple. To be able to live in harmony or to be as miserable as the rest of us married folk. Are we done? Good.

That night I had my voice. I'm sure my ex had other things on her mind with a good place to hide my body being at the top of the list. But I had my voice. I used my voice that night.

I'd like to tell you that I always have used my voice but the truth is that, like most of us, the voice gets drowned out by life too often. We waffle, we rationalize and we look for harmony. We filter ourselves over the years to the point that maybe we aren't ourselves anymore. Harmony is good, don't misunderstand me. People that live for head butting end up with a fair share of pain, so compromises and an understanding of the big picture is fine. But there is a price to pay when we go too far down that road. In 2008 I knew the marriage would end so my response was less about harmony and more about saying what I felt. I do that a lot now. And I like that.

And you should to. Whether you write it down in a journal, a blog or simply live it out loud, you should be able to speak what you feel. Fuck those filters. Be yourself, be honest. That doesn't mean you can be a douche canoe while you're at it, after all, tact instead of attack should be part of your ethos. Paint a picture, write a song, sing a damn song...just be sure to say what you really feel. It's quite liberating. Strain at those binds that hold you back.

For me, this blog has been instrumental in helping to shape and articulate some of the things I believe in and wish to speak of. It has given credence to the notion that I really do have things to say and that I should say them. Not for you, but for me. And that is the key. For yourself.

Go forth and use that voice, sing it sister!!!

Photo courtesy of my friend Margo

Ciao
D

Dance on America

So, another school shooting in the heart of gun crazy Drumphland. Is anyone even surprised anymore when these tragedies happen?

According to the Gun Violence Archive, a not for profit organization dedicated to simply providing accurate information on gun violence, there have been 1977 gun deaths this year to date.  That's 40 deaths a day across that nation. Let that sink in for a minute. While the shock of any event that ratchets up the body count and involves kids brings the issue front and centre we shouldn't forget the other "statistics". Everyday, bang you're dead, 40 times over. Bang.

The politicians will send their thoughts and prayers, the NRA will meet to plot where to send their money and nothing will change since those douche bag politicians, from the president on down, take money from gun loving freedom chanters that think everyone, even a 12 year old kid, should have an AR-15 to play with.

Social media will be plastered with pro and con arguments, lines will be drawn and re-drawn and a lot of hysteria will ensue. Labels will be hurled and still nothing will change. Why? The country is fucked that's why. And I don't mean the people in general, stupid not withstanding, I mean their system. The way their country has evolved, and I use that term sarcastically, into a melange of special interests chasing the buck and this supposed defence of freedom at all costs. This is about money and power, plain and simple. The GOP gleefully takes money from the NRA and preaches calm and advocates for putting guns in the hands of teachers as much as the Dems take money from unions and pushes for representation to fill their union rolls and coffers. Everyone is guilty here so why not take the money out of the equation. I guarantee you that if lobbyists, super pacs and unlimited contributions were truly banned politicians would actually get back to what they are supposed to be doing, making a difference in the lives of the people that voted them in. While I'm supremely naive not even I am that naive to think anything remotely like that will ever happen.

I recall reading a newspaper op ed a very long time ago discussing the city of New York. The strung out guaranteed to get mugged New York of the late 70's and 80's. A great city that had lost it's way for a number of reasons but it was still New York, it kept dancing like the flapper girls of the roaring 20's with a "we don't care and oh, go fuck yourself in the process" attitude. It was New York after all. Giuliani cleaned it up and the almighty dollar has once again reigned supreme, I felt pretty safe there two years ago, but there was a heavy police presence in the tourist rich areas. The price you pay I guess.

So maybe that's the price society pays when it allows itself to be bought. It's the ultimate balance scales - we give you access to guns without restriction and you let us pocket the money from the guys with blood on their hands. "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" will be a common phrase from the moronic right fringe. Really? No shit Sherlock. Thanks for the clarification because here we are thinking that these guns had become sentient and fired on their own volition. Guns will be guns after all. Gun reform advocates are asking for back ground checks on people, not guns. They are demanding licensing of people, not guns. They are pleading for responsible governance of people that want guns, not the guns themselves. You have to have a license and renew that license for a car every few years but you can own a gun designed to shoot enemies of the state for the purpose of hunting squirrels...something is wrong here. Many somethings.

While I applaud those teens in Florida that are trying to make a difference in the aftermath of this unspeakable tragedy, the odds are not in their favour. Not as long as there is money to be made and politicians that want their piece of the pie. The country dances on sending thoughts and prayers and the hardest thing I can imagine having to do is happening right now for parents of dead children.

D

Joined at the Hip

"Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. 

There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. 

I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. 

I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. 

Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. 

You are a moron."

From the movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

I was having a chat with Mike my spice guy, as opposed to Mike my fish guy or even Mike my cheese guy, the other day and somehow we ended up chatting about the education system. Specifically about how it seems that, finally, we are starting to see positive and substantive discussion and change around the realization that not everyone can or should simply go to university here in Nova Scotia. There is recognition that we need trades people, labourers and jobbers; society needs them and to that end perhaps we shouldn't be looking down on those that choose that path. Instead maybe we should be doing more to make choices clear and pathways open.

In the great big machinery of how the world operates we need many parts working together to make it all work. Many cogs, big and little, that while working in unison drive the working world forward. I'll leave the discussions around income equality and so on for another post or six, today simply the truth that we need everyone. And because we need everyone we should be doing more to ensure everyone has the chance to succeed.

By no stretch am I qualified to talk about curriculum as it relates to the labour market, future trends in the work force and higher education strategies as it relates to learning outcomes. But I am, as both an employer and employee in an industry that needs people to you know, work, I feel I have a few useful things to say on the subject. Both in a my world kind of discussion and as part of the larger discussion.

We need to start younger and be stronger in our convictions when it comes to preparing our kids for the future, because, quite simply,  they are our future. Somehow we need to ensure we are firing on all cylinders in what we are teaching and how we are teaching to give our young people the best possible chance for both success and happiness. Look to other places in the world to see how maybe we can do better, both within the context of own province but also within the region and the country.

Here in Nova Scotia,we truly seem to be spinning our wheels when it comes to growing and addressing the things that really need to be addressed. Be it our economy, our future, our people. From doctor shortages and wait times, to an ageing work force and a lack of young people making the choices to stay here and contribute. I moved here in 1994 as a youngish person and these are the same things that were being talked about back then. It seems like a never ending parade of reports and commissions telling everyone what they already seem to know, but nobody does a thing about it.

A few years ago we had the Ivany Report that sounded the alarm on some serious issues but also talked of concrete things to do to address them. Most importantly they set goals and every political party talked about bi-partisan support for the findings. And yet we are still spitting muck as a whole. There are success stories to be sure and they should be lauded and held up for example, but for each one of those I can think of many stories that paint a different picture.

So what does that all mean? That we need to open our eyes to finding a better way for us all. We need cooks, brick layers, dry wallers and painters as much as we need doctors, nurses and engineers of all stripes. First, acknowledge this and second formulate a plan to open as many doors for people as possible. And lock step together, the private sector and the public sector need to commit to that plan. We succeed because we all succeed...or something like that right?

Now go get to work will ya.

Ciao
D

Comfort Schmumfort

Some people find it quite strange that I claim to be kind of shy, actually some people think I am a lying liar when I say that. But it is true. Not a debilitating kind of shyness but still present if you care to look. I think I hide it with a certain amount of self confidence, a good dose of I don't give a fuck and sometimes a sprinkling of booze. I've never looked for the spotlight. I don't want to be famous and I don't care to be the centre of attention. Always been that way and I suspect I always will, but it doesn't mean that I don't get thrust into the spotlight from time to time.

So what would posses me to put myself out there on any number of occasions? Lunacy some would say...who the hell goes on TV or does a cooking demo in front of 400 people if they are shy? Well, I suppose I do. Taking myself out of my comfort zone is about challenging myself, as it is for us all really. I don't relish in it but I don't run away either. I'd be the first to admit that today I am more comfortable with the idea then I would have been at 16 or 17 years of age. Today I am confident in my abilities, I'm comfortable with who I am and I know, generally speaking, that I will be prepared for just about anything that can happen. Like being told you would have seven minutes to prepare a dish on live TV and then being shortchanged by two minutes...that fish didn't look too raw did it? The joys of improvisation.

Not to say that there haven't been times when I completely tanked it. I remember a public speaking event in grade eight that I had to do in which I managed to win the first round and go on to speak in front of the whole school. My five minutes turned into about two and half minutes because I raced through my speech. Or the the first time our band entered Battle of the Bands at school. Thank God there weren't cell phone cameras and YouTube back then...I literally stood still, didn't smile and looked like I was about to yak all over the stage. I don't why but I simply went stone cold straight for our three song set. Later on my buddy Dom told me he was contemplating hitting me with his guitar to make me move just a little bit...I think maybe he should have.

This contrasts very well with the next stage event I was involved with. Playing bass with the school band during one of our variety shows. We were supposed to dress in an anti social bum like way. Wasn't even a stretch for me. A few days of no shaving, my long hair, a lumber jacket and a cigarette dangling from my mouth...good times. I moved around. We made jokes aimed at our friends in the crowd "Rudy!!! Watch the f*#@ing cord". We threw some tennis balls into the crowd and thankfully none of them came back at us. It was a good night. Except for later on that night when we were gathered round watching our video taped performance. Seems that my guitar was way out of tune, which I didn't notice of course, which also meant some fucker de-tuned it for me when I wasn't looking. Jailhouse Rock sounded great save for that idiot bass player that seems to be off a few notes. Oh well. At least I wasn't scared stiff out there, or at least showing it.

I may have mentioned that I will do just about anything for a laugh. And I mean as long as I find it funny. Much like that picture above, I don't care. Bad hair, cheesy attempt at a moustache, bikini babes in the drummers basement...nothing about that shot is good but it makes me laugh, so as long as I find it funny, great. If I manage to make someone else laugh or even better, shock them, then that is simply a bonus to me. Nothing was off limits for me. I went to a Catholic high school and you can imagine the tomfoolery I partook in to amuse my self in that environment. There was this one time I walked onto stage feigning a technical issue while someone was still performing, all to make a point. Don't piss me off and don't disrespect me or my guys in the process. At the time I didn't know she was dating my then best friend so you can imagine how that went over. Fuck it. And how can you keep that a secret anyway...WTF!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that despite these brushes with near lunacy, from getting down on one knee singing Oliver's greatest hits in grade three to a girl I had a crush on to making up words on live TV while chastizing the host to simply not over cook your damn scallops (fantabulous!!) I have always managed to step up in these comfort zone busting moments. And almost always I was glad I did. A sense of accomplishment was my reward for daring to be stupid in public. It's quite liberating, you should try it.

As Epictetus once wrote:

"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."

By this rationale I should be at the top of my game, king of the world even because of the vast improvement I must have shown for having been, and continue to be, a complete moron. Thanks Epi.

Ciao

D

Remove Thy Heads From Thine Asses Please

I'm feeling slightly combative this chilly morning, bombarded with foolishness and idiocy I guess makes me want to say things...so here you go. Remember though, I said please.

For those of the world that are up in arms over the changing of the Canadian national anthem to become gender neutral let me say this. Firstly, get over it. Your machinations around the lessening of our collective identity and changing a piece of our history is just noise. Wanna know a secret? The lyrics prior to WW I actually read "thou dost in us command". They were changed, in part, to trigger some patriotic fervour for the young men called to fight in that terrible war. Now that they are being changed to "in all of us command" people are losing their collective shit. Why? Don't like change? Don't like the sound of it? Don't like women? Things change, and while you may not be comfortable with change or even like change, "a change is gonna come" all the same. Get over it.

And while I'm in Canadian mode, I hate to say it, but our PM seems to have lost some of his lustre lately. Bit by bit he has eroded his popularity by being somewhat dumb. The socks don't cover up the fact that he reneged on electoral reform, downplayed the visit with the Aga Khan and just the other day had people booted out of a town hall. I don't think he's in danger of losing my support just yet but I find it troubling that these things are starting to pile up. So Justin, please, do some constructive things and stop making dumb mistakes. Be the man we need you to be not only in appearances but in substance.

You cock sucking Republicans. Not that there was any doubt previously but it seems that it's certified now, you have no morals and there is no low too low for you to stoop to in the pursuit of power and wealth. From your memo release with it's cherry picked information to paint a narrative so you can derail the investigation into that orangutan of a president, I apologize for besmirching orangutans, to your daily assault on the people that need the most help and to the fact that you have allowed yourselves to prop this turd up because you like sitting at the cool kids table. Quite the contortionists you have become as the supposed family values party that make excuses for and enable this lying liar. Shame on you. Oh...and go fuck yourselves.

And lastly, for this moment at least, I direct your attention to douche canoes that can't comprehend the idea that women aren't less then. Apologists and misogynists alike that victim blame and shame as a deeply rooted reflection of who they are and what they stand for.

Allow me a little back ground. Recently, people that I care for have confided in me some terrible things that have happened. I won't get into details but you know that it must be some bad shit for me to respond in this way. By the way, this response was my second choice, my first being adjusting my driver on someones head.

Instead I set up a fake POF profile, as a woman looking for a man with the following "bio".

So, this note is meant for so called men. Not for the real men out there that treat women with respect and practice something called being a human being. Keep it up and teach your sons well.

No, this is for the other "men" that give good guys a bad name. You know who you are. You skulk in the shadows, laugh at jokes that degrade people and think of women as a depository for your semen. Do you have daughters? How would you feel if she met a guy like you? Look around you....your days are numbered. Open your eyes to what is going on in the world. I'm on here to tell you simply that it's going to stop, either because you realized the way you live your life is wrong or someone will come around and punch you in the groin, really hard. With any luck you can face your family and friends in shame and disgust as you get charged with assault or rape. And then Bubba can make you his play toy so you can feel what it's like to be treated the way you have been treating women. What would your mother think?

There is something called the whisper network out there...women talk to each other to help protect them from douches like you. From this day forward I am encouraging all people of good will to make it a shout network. The only way to end this crap is to shine the light into the dark corners where you vermin live.

Now go think about your behaviour and fix it.

What would your mother think?
It took less than an hour to receive my first douche bag email. Here is the exchange...

Douche Bag: I agree with you but if you have had a bad experience with men, and have co.e over all feminist my argument will fall on deaf ears..yes there are bad men but take a look around you. Women are far from perfect. Women also abuse men..keep us from our children. Lie to the police and have us taken out of our homes. Use the system to screw us out of our hard earned money

No the world is not perfect...so stop sounding like a victim and take control of your life...maybe you are a crazy person and feel its easy to blame men on all your woes..
Me: Actually you piece of shit that isn't the case. You are the problem here...its like saying "I'm not a racist, but..." Guess what...you're a racist.

I'm not denying that there are bad women out there. I know some of them. But I don't know any man, and neither do you, that has to worry about getting abused, assaulted and raped every time she answers an email from a guy. Not every guy is but to deny it as a woman's issue in her mind is part of the problem.

So grow the fuck up

Douche Bag: Define racist

Me: Define idiot

Douche Bag: Question with a question..guess i guess you pegged..you're are really just unhappy..if you don't love yourself don't expect men to

Me: Do you read? If you do, read out loud your last couple of emails to a woman...perhaps your daughter. While you're at it look up "victim blaming"

Douche Bag: Hey woman..that's all I got left! Can't even find it to dignify you with a answer

Me: And look up dignity while you're at it

The laws in this country prevent me from punching this guy in the throat. The laws in the US prevented that father in court from getting his wishes granted to allow him five minutes in a room with the ass hole that raped his daughter while he was her "doctor". I sympathise with that man as I'm sure most of do and while we have laws and they should be enforced the fact remains that it's a sad state that we have to live with the hate and the pain that is so prevalent in our society. I just don't how to fix it, so for now I will remain of my mission to civilize. 

Watch this video I Can't Keep Quiet 

That growing and relenting wave will not be silenced, it will come with great pain and turmoil, what side do you want to be on? Choose wisely.

Ciao
D